The Vortex
by iAnna-n-Gypsy
Summary: A silly random one-shot based on a video on youtube. STARRING: Will Turner, Davy Jones, Bootstrap, and Tia Dalma. Co-starring Lord Cutler Beckett. Warning: Slight Beckett and Will Bashing. Read and Review!


All right, I own nothing! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING despite a few original lines in here...

PLEASE for short attention-spanned people, please scroll down until you see the line that says "Funny starts here." Because the beginning is long and it's basically just set up. So to avoid being chucked at with tomatoes, I advise you scroll down, now.

Just stick with it!

Thanks! --Gypsy

* * *

Cutler Beckett: In slow motion, the flowers fell from my hand and shattered like glass. And when I looked in the mirror, I was a beautiful milkmaid…Then I woke up crying, and I don't know why…

Bootstrap: Well-I-once-had-a-dream-where-I-was-a-baby-pig-living-on-a-farm! Oink!- Oink!-Oink!

Beckett: (annoyed) No! You don't understand! It was a life-changing vision! I may never be the-

Will: (runs up and shoves Beckett to the ground) Dad! Dad! We need your help! Magical emergency!

Bootstrap: Oh boy! I love these things. Let's go! (Will and Bootstrap run off with cool theme song sound affects)

((Tia Dalma is standing under a bright, blue and green vortex glowing and spinning in air))

Tia Dalma: (after Will and Bootstrap run in with sound affects) Oh! Bootstrap! Davy's trapped in an alternate dimension!

Bootstrap: (mumbles) Oh not again!

Davy: (calling from vortex) This is terrible! This tickles in all the wrong places and ways!

Will: Well maybe this wouldn't happen if you weren't so fat! (Turns to Bootstrap) Have any ideas?

Bootstrap: Hmm…FETCH ME THE PROBLEM STICK!

Davy: Not that thing again!

Will: Come on! It's a good thing! (Runs off to get Problem Stick)

Davy: Gaaah! I think I'm going through puberty again!

Tia: Don't go into the light, Davy!

Will: (runs back with theme song panting) Here it is!

Bootstrap: Ah yes! My old friend!

Tia: (eyes cautiously) Are you_ sure_ dat's gonna work?

Bootstrap: Positive! I've done this a million times!

Tia: What's it do exactly?

Will: (whispers) It pokes people!

Bootstrap: Exactly! (Puts stick into vortex; mumbles) Let's see if I remember how to do this.

Davy: What!

Bootstrap: (starts poking with stick) All right theeeeeen.

((Vortex abruptly disappears. Davy falls upside down on head))

**--FUNNY STARTS HERE--**

Will: (taps back) Are you okay, Davy?

Davy: (stands up and cough; is wearing sunglasses and looks…younger) Ahem…Are you kidding me? I've - I've never felt better!…'S'up Tia?

Tia: (blushes) Well, um…

Bootstrap: Wow, Davy! Now you're _way_ cooler than Will!

Will: (squeak) Wha-a-a-at?

Davy: Let's have a beach party, in Scotland! (Music plays, everyone except Will starts dancing)

((Music is playing, as everyone dances, Will is stone still. Camera zooms in slowly to his dead-inside eyes…Still dancing))

Will: (camera is still zooming…this goes on for awhile) NO! (Funky music stops) NO! (turns to Davy) Patuitareous Shrinkydinkyess! (knees in groin; Davy collapses and drops glasses)

Davy: Wha-what?

Will: I rule the oceans, you hear! _I'm_ top dog! No one can have more testosterone than me. I'm Will Turner! The undead captain! The man who lived! I'm Will Turner, okay?

Davy: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, YOU-

Will: Well good!…Now let's have a dance party, in Jamaica!

(Same funky music…except more demeaning plays. Will starts dancing wildly. Everyone stares…Then Will starts singing.)

_(Yeah!) Will Turner! Will Turner! (Huh! That's me!)_

_(Uh huh!) Will Turner! (That's me!)_

_(Get's Into actual tune. All start dancing and shifting awkwardly)_

_My name is Will Turn-er I am king of the sea-ea!_

_I am better than everybody innnnn the seaaa!_

_I am hip and I'm awesome and-all-the-girls know my na-aaame._

_Wi-i-i-il Tu-ur-ur-urner, that is my name! _

_Will Turner!…Will Turner!…(Come on! Do the shooey doo-wops!)_

_(Everyone else: Shooey doo-wop!…Shooey doo-wop! It continues.)_

_(Yeah!) I lived on my own - When I was a ba-aby_

_I was even awesome! - When I was a ba-aby!_

_Both my parents left! - When I was a ba-aby!_

_I grew up abused! - Without an-y love! _

_Will Turner! (shooey doo-wop!) Will Turner! (shooey doo-wop!)_

_That's MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! _

Will: (starts panting and breathing heavily) Ah…You guys are my best friends, do you know that?

Bootstrap: Aw, Will!

Davy: (eyes actually water; sniffs) Aw, Will! Everything's gonna be all right!

Tia: We'll always love you, Will! (Will, Bootstrap, and Tia pull into group hug)

Davy: Man…That's it! I love you too, Will! (Moves into hug)

Will: (pushes away) Lose some weight before you hug me, Davy! (Goes back into hug)

Davy: (squeaks) What?

And the rest is history! It's waaaaay funnier on youtube! Here's the link for _Potter Puppet Pals! _

www. /watch?vY18LUMkVt2Y


End file.
